Mailbox Baseball

It would appear we were the victims of a rousing game of Mailbox Baseball last night. For those of you who don’t know what this is, it is a “sport” typically practiced by suburban and rural teenage boys and involves driving by unsuspecting mailboxes during the night and then smashing them with a bat or other such instrument from the passenger side of the vehicle. It is done for fun.

Our Late Mailbox (numbers removed digitally postmortem)

Our Late Mailbox (numbers removed digitally postmortem)

At some point during the night, Ben awoke to a low rumbling noise and then a profound thump and crash that shook the house. I will note that almost anything shakes our house as it is propped on a 260 year old foundation that needs more love than it has received in the last century or so. This event also verifies that I am a very deep sleeper.

A trip out to the driveway this morning led to the discovery of a crushed mailbox about 10 feet away from its former perch – a retired telephone pole stump. And a call to the police station to report property damage let us know we weren’t the only victim in the neighborhood.

Several hours later we are the proud owners of a new (and cheap) mailbox. It is green. I also have a collection of diabolical plans should this happen again in the next few days or weeks. I won’t get into detailed specifics, but they all involve water balloons, moderate quantities of dye, and levers. While I flirted with the idea of nesting mailboxes with a layer of cement in between layers, it seems like too much work. As did the trebuchet.

I also learned that smashing a mailbox is a federal crime.

One Comment on “Mailbox Baseball

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